I’m probably just thinking about my pregnancy a lot because in 1 month I will be mom to a 1-year-old and I’m trying to let that sink in a bit.
Around this time last year I was already going on with my day without any sleep, but let’s go back to where this all began.
As you may know from my previous post that on June 07 of 2015 I had a miscarriage. This put me in a very rough spot and I dealt with depression for a while. The months went on and we decided we did not want to try for another in fear of going through what we had gone through. We decided around November/ December to plan a trip. It was something very spontaneous and we began planning. We were all set to leave the second week of January 2016 to New York.
I had been having a weird feeling but was not sure what it was… Something kept telling me to get a pregnancy test but fear would stop me. I decided to finally test and to my surprise, it was POSITIVE!!
A week later we were on a plane to New York and that’s when it all began, morning sickness on the plane. I still feel bad for the girl next to me who had to witness it all as I could not hold anything in. I knew at the moment that I was in for a ride with this pregnancy. The morning sickness was not only morning, it came in the day, at night, in the morning, regardless of the place. This lasted for 4.5 months!!!
Everyone would tell me it would pass when I hit the second trimester. I counted the days for this to happen but it didn’t. I wore the bracelets to help with the sickness, took medicine prescribed by the midwife and that didn’t work, tried ginger, crackers, candy, gum, but nothing would work. Slowly it stopped and then guess what…. heartburn. Constant heartburn even when I drank water. Then came the anxiety attacks.
Let me tell you, anxiety attacks are no joke. I had never experienced any until this time in my pregnancy. I will not get into too much detail about them as they were a very hard thing to deal with and its hard to think about them.
There was something new constantly with my pregnancy and the only solution my midwife would give me was to rest! How does someone get any rest when working full-time and being a full-time student. At this point I was well past 34 weeks. Then very suddenly I began to experience itching throughout my lower stomach, the side of my thighs, all the way down to my knees. The itching was unbearable that I would sit in the shower past midnight just letting cold water fall on me to be able to deal with the itching for a bit. I would not sleep. I tried coconut oil with almond oil and several other lotions. Finally let my midwife know and they drew blood and ran some tests. I waited and in the mean time just had restless nights with extreme rashes through my body without any answers. At my 39 week check up they finally said that my tests were not looking good. I had cholestasis. Whatever that meant all I knew was that it was not good. That same day they told me I would have to be induced because normally they don’t let anyone go past 37 weeks when they had cholestasis and I was already 39 weeks. I was not ready even though I had been telling myself I was ready. I was going to give birth already, but how? I was not ready at all.
I felt that from that moment on it all became a blur. What I had planned for had changed without me even getting any notice. September 8, I went in to begin induction and Friday Sept 9, 2016 at 11:24 p.m. I became a mom. And at that very moment the 39 weeks and 5 days of surprises and unexpected turns, disappeared. The love of my life was in my arms. 7 pounds 10 ounces of pure love, joy, and excitement filled my heart.
Before getting pregnant I had this idea in my head of how pregnancy would like. I would have that glow that everyone talks about. Mine was every other day if I got lucky and it came with the help of makeup. Not one thing of my pregnancy went as I planned. Everyone had great advise some wanted and some unwanted but all of it helped me in one way or another to be able to deal with the constant pain I was in.
Life will always throw unexpected things and as much as we try to have control over it there are times we just have to let go and let God guide us. People who know what I had to deal with ask me if I would do it again even if I knew I would have to deal with the same and my answer is, YES. Without a doubt I would do it all over again. The end result is a feeling that cannot be explained. It is a feeling that does not end and it only keeps growing and as much as I try to use words to explain it, I can’t.
Wish all those women looking to get pregnant good luck. Take it day by day, trust me it’ll all be worth it.