Posted in mom, Mom life, real life, stay at home mom

Where is my village?

Everyone always says “it takes a village to raise children”.

I really do believe this because parenting can get hard specially when you have more than one child. Not necessarily meaning that children are hard, just the entire experience and unexpected situations.

I don’t know if you feel the same way but being a stay-at-home mom is a very lonely task that not many understand. Many don’t even talk about it because how dare we complain one bit about our days. Oh no, no complaining or the judgment looks begin. “But your children are beautiful”, ummm, when did I day they were ugly. ” But you get to make memories”, umm yeah small ones in between changing diapers, cooking meals, cleaning, laundry, running errands, picking up messes, you name it. So yes, sorry if a stay at home mom dares complain a bit because all assumptions begin and how ungrateful could she possibly be. Blah blah.

Anyways, yes it’s hard and yes parents need time to themselves because before being mom and dad, you were husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend. Take into account that if you have multiple kids and you need to go to the doctors you can’t just take all of them and then risk getting everyone sick. There are things that happen too where you need someone.

There are many moms and children stationed in states where they have no friends or family, I know that there are situations where the village is too far and nearly impossible to get close to and I do understand that sometimes villages are hard to build and moms have to deal with hard situations where they may feel even lonelier. But that’s where their village has to come in and remind them that no matter how far away they always have someone to talk to someone who will listen to them.

Then there are situations like mine where my “village” is between 10-15 minutes away but not there. I constantly heard advise that sounded a little like this : “don’t be afraid to ask for help” “If you ask for help, help will come” “There is plenty of people who care about you guys so just ask for help”. Seriously left and right people just tell you to ask for help.

But what happenes when the only help you can get is your own. I know I can handle all this because I have been for the past 2 years as a stay at home mom. I’ve managed to find things that work for me. Things to get past my anxiety. I am able to clean daily, cook daily, and maintain my sanity. I am literally a mom 24/7 there are no breaks for this mom. You can find me browsing the Target aisles alone maybe once a month.

The fact that I have this so called “village” so close to me but rarely shows up is hard. It’s like one of those things that you just don’t know what to do with it.

Here is my vent. To those who think I can just get up and go and that think date nights are fun and all, you are wrong. Date nights are scheduled and always such a small window because again the village that I have is not really my village and consist of probably 2 people.

When you hear “well, I did it all on my own without my family here” “I didn’t have a mother to help me out ever”, is kinda annoying. It really discourages me to even ask for help anymore because I feel like I’m “so needy” But I’m not. I’m actually not that needy.

On the other side you know the second village that we supposedly have well that village just doesn’t show up at all. Why they don’t show up well rumor has it, it’s because I don’t let myself be loved. Never heard of that before but sure okay.

So you know they show up when it’s convenient for them. When pictures have to be taken to show others that indeed they are our village and they have shown up to help.

Does that make sense?

Do you know people who show up take pictures to show the world A picture and say how they were there. They showed up and that’s good enough.

You are probably thinking well why don’t you just say the magic words and just ask for help.

I have. But everytime it’s either a forced help or they just can’t help.

I’m a giver. If anyone asks for help I’m there without a question. When it’s time for me to receive. I’m not the best. I’ll ask but if the answer is no then I won’t ask again. I just figure it out and move on. That’s where I’m judged because apparently I’m supposed to ask more than once.

At some point expecting to have a village becomes hurtful and toxic to your life. This year it was a battle with myself learning to just be okay with the fact that I don’t have a village.

Accepting that I did nothing wrong and that it’s okay to not have a village. Things can be figured out and I can work through it. I am extremely thankful for the people that I can actually count on including those who just listen to me and allow me to vent because sometimes that’s all we need.

Is anyone else in the same situation and how do you deal with it?

And why is it hard for others to understand that just because you have people who stand behind you doesn’t mean that everyone does. There are some of us moms who truly handle it on our own and there shouldn’t be anything wrong with speaking up about it. It’s okay to say “I don’t have a village”.

We hold back because we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but why would anyone get their feelings hurt if they don’t care in the first place.

I did want to add that I know it’s our responsibility as parents to care for our children and I’m not asking anyone to come raise my kids for me. Im just saying that it would be nice if people would stop saying it takes a village because that’s not the reality for some of us and it feels lonely knowing that there are people around you but are not willing to put in a bit of their time to even bond with your children.

I know I can’t be the only one with a small village or no village.

Share your thoughts with me

-Full Time Mom Love

Posted in Essential oils, plant therapy

Essential Oil Change

I have been using essential oils for 3 years now. I made the decision to try them out because of the benefits they had and I knew that I wanted to have a more holistic approach with my baby. He was only a few months old when I made my purchase.

I always did wax melts but when I was pregnant, Google became my best friend and so many other pregnancy apps and mom groups on Facebook.

Anyway, I didn’t know where to start the only oils I had ever known of were the ones from Sprouts stores but for some reason they gave me headaches. Then I learned about Young Living and it sounded amazing. I purchased my kit, unaware that Young Living is actually a network marketing company. I wanted the benefits of the oils so I was a happy customer and still am. Through the years I order monthly but they are pricey. 2 years ago I became a stay at home mom. Its been a struggle to keep up with our oils because well price and to the day never looked around for other alternatives.

You know sometimes you are online and for some reason the same thing keeps popping up. Well on Instagram I kept seeing pictures of test trays. It wasn’t like one person post it was multiple different days at a time. Finally started to read what they were testing. Come to find out it was about essential oils.

Turns out I have options. I am in love with my oils again. I found out about Plant Therapy and the prices are amazing. The have organic selection for children and they even have a chart right on their site so for people that use Young Living and Do Terra can easily find their favorite oils compared to their.

How amazing is that. Yes, essential oils make me happy. I have a collection of over 20 bottles because the others are empty and I am now going to be able to add so many more to that.

You have to check out these tests though. I don’t have the exact links or posts but I’m sure a simple Google search can point you to them.

I am in love with the amount of kid safe oils they have. I cant wait to own all of them. They have rollers too which means this mom no longer has to dilute.

I cant wait to share more of the products with you guys. I’m not here to tell you not to use Young Living or DoTerra but I am here to share the alternatives you have. You will love these and their prices. I will link the kid safe Oils directly because those are my number 1 and also a link to access all their other products. They have a lot of promotions at the moment that you don’t want to miss out on.

Keep an eye out for more of my stories with Essential Oils.

…..

Ftmomlove

KidSafe Complete Set

Plant Therapy Essential Oils

KidSafe Essential Oils

Plant Therapy Logo

Posted in encouragement, honest products, mom, Mom life, Organic, plant based, positivity, real life, stay at home mom

Honest Baby Products

Okay guys,

Last time I did a review was about two years ago for toys.

I am now a well seasoned mom, or at least I like to think I am. Hahaha

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. When people would tell me that all children are different, I didn’t take it serious. Well let me tell you, they were right. We had to test so many products out to find what worked.

The first and most important were diapers. Babies have such gentle skins. Anything can really be irritating to them.

Lets start with our favorite diapers. Like the title states its Honest Baby products so for now I will only review my thoughts on Honest Baby care products.

Our most important product and most used are the diapers. have you seen the designs on them. They are the cutest. Not only that they are soft, super absorbent and they are plant based!! Okay, but my favorite part as a mom, is the bundles because, hello, who has the time to run around with 2 kids at the store. I don’t know about you guys but when I make a target trip it turns into chaos. I want to browse every aisle while my kids are all of a sudden hungry, have a dirty diaper, they want to touch everything in site, the shopping cart is uncomfortable, you name it. It happens!

Okay so for us we had to order more frequently because well for a few month we had 2 kids in diapers. You get to pick the print you want, you also get 4 packs of their wipes (also my favorite) and pick how often you want them delivered.

Its amazing all the work is done for you. For an amazing price.

The next Honest baby care product we absolutely love is the organic all-purpose balm. My one year old had a rash from the drool of teething he was having. Oh my was it bad. We applied this to his neck and chest area after bath time and it would help him not have so much irritation. We still only use that for anything. Its very soothing, hypoallergenic and natural. Use it for diaper rashes!!

And my last product is their Fragrance Free stain remover! you know how many blow out babies have! This has been my favorite because its gentle but powerful enough to get the stains out of their clothes. If you guys have read my previous posts you know that I do baby led weaning. BLW gets messy fast. even now as toddlers they get food everywhere and this spray has been a life saver for all their clothes.

You can find many other of their amazing plant-based products at my following link. Let me know what you think about their bundles!! and share your top Honest products. I’ve tried most of their baby line but these are my absolute must haves.

Honest Baby Care Products

Posted in Mom life

Discouragement

You know when you go on social media and everything is about staying positive and motivated. Well, thats not me all the time. I post some encouraging story or post because I want to believe that I am actually living that but some days all I want is to hide away.

Motivation and positivity is not something that comes naturally to me.I feel like that light was shut off and it takes daily effort to turn it on.

In school I was never the popular one and even while working, I was never the outgoing one. I’ve always been socially awkward. I am happy and Im always grateful for my life.

If you ask me how im feeling now, I would say, discouraged and hopeless.

At times I have high expectations of myself and if I don’t accomplish them quick I feel so unmotivated and at times feel like its easier to just quit. When I feel like quitting then I am hard on myself because I know I’m not a quitter. Its crazy the power our brains have and it could be my anxiety but I feel like daily I have to wake up and tell myself a “cheesy” quote just to get me to be just a little bit positive and grow that throughout the day little by littler. All this only to do it all over again the next day.

I don’t want to be negative on my blog but I am sure that maybe just maybe there is someone who struggles like I do daily that could share some things they do for themselves so they can move forward each day.

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Posted in beauty, homeopathic, mom, Mom life

Change my life with a bottle of shampoo

Like really…

So you go on social media and you see people posting their vacations, their lunches, their new car, and more and you can’t stop and think how can that be me.

That’s me. I’m a stay at home mom and the reality of it is that childcare is too expensive even if I had a full time job. It’s just not realistic for our life. We don’t have help from relatives that could watch our kids for a cheaper price.

I’ll be a stay at home mom for a while but that means making sacrifices because living in California is expensive.

I sit here living a life scrolling through pictures that seem like a dream. I’m not saying I want someone else’s life but it would be nice to be able to get out and explore without having to worry about the cost.

Our goal as a family is to be able to experience, to travel a bit instead of spending on expensive material we rather use our money for adventure.

So how is a bottle of shampoo changing my life. For weeks, I kept messaging a friend and asking her about what she was selling and why and how. All the questions you can imagine. Was this even for me? Why would I spend $199 to start working from home.

To be honest I just couldn’t see it in me to spend that money specially when we could use that money on something else but I weighed all of my options. Okay so $199 that is what I would spend on 2 trips to target and end up with items that I most likely dont even need.

That’s what I did. I started to question what I was going to purchase. Was it something I need or was it out of impulse. I saved money and just like that I invested. I joined my friend.

People call it a pyramid scheme and bash people for working MLMs but in reality this is income for many. I am so thankful for the team I joined. The past weeks they have answered all of my questions, I’ve been on multiple business calls.

The reality of it is I am able to work from home with my toddlers running around, screaming , while I’m cookin and more. All I need is my laptop and my cellphone and that’s it.

What I made a million excuses to has changed me. I feel like I’m doing something productive. I am no longer just scrolling through Instagram or Facebook. I don’t waste time or money on things I don’t need.

If you would had asked me 3, 5 or 10 years ago if I believed in MLMs. I would have probably not even paid attention. I would have ignored it. I would have said I don’t know how to sell. I would have said I don’t have the time.

My goal is to make an extra $200 a month for now but I know from what Im seeing my goal will go up to $500 a month in the next 30 days.

Don’t doubt yourself.

Where there is a will there is a way. Trust me. I was that person with the thousands of excuses.

Posted in mom, Mom life

Hooked on social media

I’m on a roll with these posts. Hahaha.

Let’s talk social media. Being a stay-at-home mom, (yes, that’s my topic at the moment), really hit me and I needed to find something to help me feel like I was doing something with my life. I started searching things to do online and how to be able to possibly make extra income. I had started Instagram about almost 3 years ago. Where I decided I would post my baby boy.

We started doing brand reps for small Etsy shops and Instagram shops and I loved it. I got to receive some nice handmade clothes for him and I got to take pictures of him and it kept me occupied. It became a bit hectic at some point because I had taken on 4 shops at once and some were more demanding than others and I had to be on schedule with my postings.

I ended my terms and decided to slow down.

From there I found out that companies can actually send you products for free in exchange for your reviews. So, I had the opportuniy to apply to two amazing companies and a year later here I am still working with them and I have been able to receive products that as a stay-at-home mom would not have been able to afford.

I have now started a new venture and thats selling paper flowers/decor that I make. I have also decided after 3 years, to pursue the business side of essential oils and soon I will be sharing a new business that I will be starting.

Doing all this requires that I spend a decent amount of time on social media. I try to post regularly and share stories to engage people. I know many wonder why I do it. Others probably find it annoying. I have lost followers but it’s okay.

There are days that I get discouraged and I want to quit all of it. There are days that I feel so defeated. There are also days that I feel super motivated.

At the end of each day I remind myself why I do it.

I didn’t plan to be a stay at home mom but it happened and if sharing on social media, writing reviews, or joining MLMs will help me be a stay-at-home for more years to come then I’ll push myself daily. I may not be successful today but tomorrow is a fresh start. My children are my motivation and drive to overcome daily obstacles and to not let negative people bring me down.

My annoying stories, my annoying stories will help me provide for my family and that’s what I’ll continue to do.

Don’t let others discourage you. Not everyone is good at a 9 to 5 job. Not everyone is good at 12+ hour shifts, not everyone like MLM, not everyone likes social media and all of this is okay. YOU do YOU every day!! !

Thank you for reading 💙

Posted in mom, Mom life

Why I became a stay-at-home mom..

Hello again,

I know I know I always have the same introduction, but really how does time just fly by.

It slips out of our hands and next thing you know it’s been days, weeks, months, years.

Anyways, you know before having kids I always wondered how someone became a stay-at-home mom. I never really pictures myself staying home and taking care of my kids. I’ve always been the type to get up and go and just do things. Life just seemed so full of things to do how could I possibly stay home ALL the time.

Well here I am, almost 2 years of being home with my boys. It is so hard and I truly don’t even know how I did it when I was a working mom. I feel like I’m always busy, there is never a break.

When my first baby was born, I went straight to work without issues. I managed to exclusively pump for 9 months and not only that but I was a full time student and working full time. I have no idea how I managed to do that but I did it for an entire year. One day I just started to feel more anxious and that anxiety grew each day. I would be okay and bring myself to feel okay for a bit but then the next day the feeling would come back. I thought I just need a change. So, I changed jobs and started fresh. I was excited, nervous but excited for the change. I did fine the first few days then the anxiety started to pick up. Except, this time I would get to work and I would go to the restroom and cry. I didn’t understand the feeling and to be honest I felt so dumb.

What was happening to me. I opened up to my husband after about 2 weeks of this happening to me. I didn’t know how to explain to someone what I was feeling inside. I was happy for my new opportunity and to be able to learn something new but at the same time I felt like I was missing something, I was sad about something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

And, just like that I quit my job.

Almost 2 years now and I still think about what happened. I think I had post partum depression but at the moment I tried so hard to hide that from myself because the thought of having PPD made me feel weak.

I love being a stay-at-home mom but let me tell you, it’s the hardest job ever. I am glad I made a decision for myself but I wish I would have spoken out about what I was feeling, about what I was thinking. If I would have spoken out I would have been able to get the help I needed.

I don’t know much about PPD but I do know that it doesn’t just happen when you first give birth. It can happen any time, during pregnancy or a year after giving birth.

Speak out for yourself. Don’t be ashamed of what you are feeling.

I knew what to expect with my second baby and staying busy has really helped me control my feelings and feel better about myself.

Until next post. ❤

Thank you for reading.